he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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