Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
