i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
