As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
