Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
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The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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