This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
