Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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