aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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