I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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