Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize