Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
