Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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