It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize