my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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