I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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