Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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