your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
