ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize