just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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