so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
