I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
