I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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