What a fucking waste of an outfit
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
