My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
