Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
