If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Shame - the story of my life.
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