Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
