Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
