I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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