theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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