she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
