Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
