Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed

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  (571): I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed http://tfl.nu/twel
  Replies (24) Good night (3640) Bad night (1850)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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  (208): when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers" http://tfl.nu/yspu
  Replies (6) Good night (4978) Bad night (609)
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  (858): View more from California

  I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

  (619): View more from California

  you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

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  (858): I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up. (619): you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS http://tfl.nu/a8ci
  Replies (22) Good night (6719) Bad night (1227)
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  (530): View more from California

  Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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  (530): Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud http://tfl.nu/4tef
  Replies (18) Good night (5134) Bad night (861)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass

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  (412): bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass http://tfl.nu/ur9n
  Replies (14) Good night (4858) Bad night (849)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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  (217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9
  Replies (7) Good night (1058) Bad night (2587)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.

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  (314): No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place. http://tfl.nu/fg0m
  Replies (15) Good night (938) Bad night (3409)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.

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  (615): I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this. http://tfl.nu/3o9n
  Replies (11) Good night (2673) Bad night (1527)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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  (406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8
  Replies (3) Good night (1830) Bad night (803)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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  (763): FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though. http://tfl.nu/i3qf
  Replies (6) Good night (2466) Bad night (1028)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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  (206): before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch http://tfl.nu/cp10
  Replies (14) Good night (2060) Bad night (724)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself

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  (309): Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself http://tfl.nu/lvoc
  Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (898)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex

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  (303): Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex http://tfl.nu/46rv
  Replies (6) Good night (856) Bad night (340)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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  (416): I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses. http://tfl.nu/2j5j
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!

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  (412): i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt! http://tfl.nu/8lpp
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (311)

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