Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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  (703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' http://tfl.nu/447f
  Replies (55) Good night (1529) Bad night (17158)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts

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  (404): don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts http://tfl.nu/dnse
  Replies (13) Good night (4308) Bad night (1174)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.

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  (+44): Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/5ggv
  Replies (11) Good night (4186) Bad night (1160)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (12192) Bad night (1349)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (5371) Bad night (1066)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"

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  (406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo
  Replies (13) Good night (4077) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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  (914): He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name http://tfl.nu/48t9
  Replies (3) Good night (3344) Bad night (1005)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?

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  (704): HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES? http://tfl.nu/cu3x
  Replies (8) Good night (2182) Bad night (996)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.

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  (480): His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it. http://tfl.nu/pwa8
  Replies (15) Good night (827) Bad night (3589)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday

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  (541): Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday http://tfl.nu/3cvq
  Replies (1) Good night (903) Bad night (436)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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  (561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way. http://tfl.nu/yi36
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (477)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That would explain all the random shit in my room...

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  (979): Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty. (512): That would explain all the random shit in my room... http://tfl.nu/75zy
  Replies (2) Good night (1827) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

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  (613): Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!" http://tfl.nu/otim
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (291)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.

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  (410): I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar. http://tfl.nu/v5eo
  Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.

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  (302): I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year. http://tfl.nu/k1l1
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (161)

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