i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??