me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!