That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone