We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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