Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
pray to the hookup gods
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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