he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
