Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
