Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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