And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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