Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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