It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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