There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
