Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
