You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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