I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
