so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
