Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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