YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yo dont text me then not text me
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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