I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
