1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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