Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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