Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
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Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I touched a dick in church today
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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