He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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