That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
