I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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