your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
not ubering you a puppy
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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