You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
