Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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